She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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