yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
