he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
