i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Swine flu is the new snow day.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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