Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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