He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
