I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
