You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
