As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
