i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I wish you could order shots online.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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