I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
