i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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