I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
so let's talk penis.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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