I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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