fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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