already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize