So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
