i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I woke up under a house in Key West
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
