it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
