I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize