I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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