watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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