If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
