Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
