how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
