Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
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