Where is the hickey?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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