I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'm too high and old for this...
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
