i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Randomize
