I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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