To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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