Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
