i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
