You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
tell me about the eggs
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
