i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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