just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
