9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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