She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
