youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Randomize
