Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
