im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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