I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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