I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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