That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
