who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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