At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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