I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
