We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
