Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
