The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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