just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
