Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
