I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
