He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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