You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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