are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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