i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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