So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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