I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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