you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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