we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
