Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
