I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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