Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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