I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
