I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
