You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
