Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
