I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
