So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
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