her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
