get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
