Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
