Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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