Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
