this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
