i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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