Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
